Rewatching the romantic comedy “13 Going on 30” in my birthday week surely brings back a lot of memories and emotions. My younger self always thought the movie was a reminder not to rush anything in life. Little did I know, there’s another life lesson hiding in plain sight, waiting for the adult version of myself to understand its message.
“I wanna be thirty. Thirty and flirty and thriving!”
Back in 2004, the 13-year old myself looked at the 30-year-old Jenna Rink in awe. Rink, played by Jennifer Garner in the movie, was the woman I wanted to be in my current age: beautiful, smart, working in a giant media company, and seemed to get her shit together.
Fast forward to 2018, the just-turned-28 myself realized that instead of relating to the adult Jenna Rink, I found too many similarities between the younger Jenna Rink’s character and myself.
“I don’t want to be original, Matty. I want to be cool,” Rink said to Matt.
Ever since my puberty, I’ve been quite superficial most of the time by valuing money, looks, or brand over something more profound like personality or intention. I was trying too hard to be part of the cool kids.
But I never was and — now that I accept it — I will never be.
Two days ago was my 28th birthday. After turning off my birthday alert in most of my social media account, I finally got the loneliest birthday I ever had in my life.
It was nice, though. I realized that there are indeed a handful of people who think I matter. I also got the chance to treat myself by watching my favorite movies and got life lessons in return.
So, long story short, I realized I’ve been hating my life for the silliest reason in years. Gary Winick’s “13 Going on 30” showed me that all this time I’ve been putting my focus in the wrong direction.
The young Jenna Rink did not realize that she had everything she needs to survive this mad world, including her family, her best friend, and her brain. Her family might not be as cool as she wanted them to be, her best friend might not be the hot jock and her smart might not put her in the cool kids’ gang.
But who cares?
About 20 years later, her family still welcomes her. Her best friend — who is actually really cool and can make things from scratch— becomes a hot photographer (and maybe a hot scientist who can turn himself into a green monster). And she could also have any career she wants because she is smart.
I forgot that I was not born into money nor was I holding a household name that open doors easily. I beat myself up for not dressing up in labels like my friends did, for not having a sweet 17 party in a big hotel, for not driving my own car or for not studying abroad like most of my high school friends do.
Yet, despite not having nor doing that, I should’ve seen how far I’ve gone and who have stayed — and bled — so that I can get this far. So, young lady, I know you. I am you. I know you would not trade what you have or the people close to you with anything. Jenna Rink and Tabita Diela both have learned to grow wiser, to love sincerely.
Remember, we are young. Heartache to heartache, we stand! Happy birthday.
